The home place
Vestiges
The gravel drive has mostly returned to a grass track -
perhaps not so different from the way it was in 1908
when Frank Bstandig was signing his name to the back
of a pine stair riser that may or may not have been
new timber at the time - maybe it was saved and set aside
from some other house, kicked and scuffed by other feet
before it was fitted in as the eighth step of fourteen
to the four upstairs bedrooms, will be gouged and chipped
by the ups and downs of three generations of Snyder children
before it comes to rest under my art room workbench.
The lilacs that Leonard planted for Wilma the spring before
he stepped out of the tractor and lay down in the grass
and never got up, have grown up to those bedroom windows,
mostly dead wood now with elm and hackberry grown in—
but something is blooming, something is sweet on the May breeze—
not the haggard snowball bush, full of dark, naked limbs -
or the two remaining alliums with audacious purple globes -
not the single yellow iris nearly choked out by brome grass -
it’s the old mock orange at the bottom of the east yard,
full of blooms and bees and looking just the same,
just the same as when Grandma sat rocking, rocking in her chair
looking out towards the sunrise, over the horizon,
through the wavy glass of the double windows
that have been removed, the weights cut out and left to lie
with the bits of lumber and scrap that no one can see
any good use for now, though surely old Frank
would have wedged them in a nest of straw under his wagon seat -
might even have taken this house apart board by board
back in 1908, but no one anymore has the time or patience,
and the window weights and the studs and floor joists,
plaster and lath will all be razed and buried
in the span of a few hours - and all that will remain
to mark the one hundred and sixteen years this house stood
on the home place will be some ancient fruit trees,
a faint grass track, and for a few warm days in May,
the glinting scent of mock orange blossoms on the wind.
May 2024
There have been many goodbyes over the years and I know this isn’t the last, last goodbye to the home place because even when the house is buried and the site smoothed out and grass has overtaken the sepia colored soil, this piece of land will throw up the spirit of the crooked yellow house and of Grandma standing at the door, squinting in the sun to see which of her family was coming down the drive. I know that image will be here anytime I return, but I also know I carry it in my mind’s eye because iterations of this dear place have been coming off my pen and paintbrush for weeks.
I didn’t plan to drive down to Grandma’s house last Friday, it just happened... I think perhaps I was called back, as early in the week I smelled something sweet and familiar on the breeze on my way to the mailbox and realized that the one remaining Russian olive tree in the fencerow down the road must be blooming. If I’m lucky, I catch it in bloom for one or two days each year. There used to be half a dozen in a row but the county pushed out all but part of one several years ago and it has gone on living and blooming despite being completely toppled by the backhoe they use to “clean up” the road sides. Russian olive is considered an invasive species in Nebraska, and despite that fact, I find the silver-leaved tree so beautiful and exotic looking that I’ve been tempted many times to try planting it in my yard.
I visited the tree for a few moments, standing still while bees of all sizes bobbed around me in the sticky yellow blossoms. I tried to think of how to describe the scent and decided that maybe it was a mixture of lilac and honey but I think I was probably influenced by the bees.. there is something heavenly about it on the breeze though, while up close it is almost cloying.
The same sort of ambrosial scent was in the air as I climbed over the fence and walked down the drive to Grandma’s house a few days later and I thought maybe there was a Russian olive growing in the gulley though it would have been hard to see. Instead of going straight inside I slowly wandered around the outside of the house, hunting for old plants and taking photos.
Seven years is plenty of time for nature to begin to reclaim what was hers and most things in the yard and garden that Grandma worked so hard to grow and cultivate have disappeared or are dead and dying.. .. it’s humbling to see how quickly fifty years of effort is undone. A number of the larger trees have survived including the linden tree Grandma planted for me the year I was born and enterprising young elm and locust trees that seeded themselves near the foundation over the years, left alone at last after seasons and seasons of being pruned and hacked back, have shot up to the roof in a speed and manner that plants only seem to possess when they know they’re unwanted.
If you had the interest or patience to read the poem above, you’ll know that the perfume in the air was from the mock orange bush in the east yard and it did smell remarkably like the Russian olive until I got up close and again, stood with the bees, dipping my nose into flowers which did not smell of honey, but a cross between wild roses and apple and citrus blossoms. The bush was taller and more spreading than I remembered but didn’t seem any the worse for being left to her own devices for seven years - she looked healthy and vigorous and completely at home in this yard which had grown so wild.
Inside, there’s very little left that made this Grandma’s house, or our family’s “home place,” and I needed to see it this way and to know that we had taken out and saved much of what we loved about the house - and that what will be buried in a few weeks time, are only the bones and facade.. of course the rooms still hold memories but I found myself drawn to the windows, to the views and scenes outside the house, to the blue-painted kitchen windows where Grandma stood washing dishes each morning, afternoon, and evening - to the front room windows where she rocked and watched the sun rise and the birds come to her feeders, the bathroom window where I found one last inspirational passage taped to the frame.
I think this passage was a last gift that Grandma left us - I know it felt and feels like an offering to me and to my mom when I shared it with her - even after we had removed so many from other parts of the house, had found so many tucked in books and her bible.. this one is the last the house held and it went straight to my heart... it’s taped to the beautiful fluted window casing we saved from her piano room in my art room and below my worktable lies the legendary (to our family) piece of lumber signed by Frank J Bstandig in 1908 when he finished building the house that Grandma would make our family home for more than fifty years.
Let nothing disturb thee,
Let nothing dismay thee,
All things pass...
(St. Teresa d’Avila)
Make a mouse: spun cotton tutorial
“I think mice are rather nice,” begins the well-known poem by Rose Fyleman - it’s written for children and I suppose it’s meant to be funny and slightly tongue-in-cheek but I really do have a soft spot for mice, I always have - maybe it was Beatrix Potter who romanticized them for me with tidy little Mrs Tittlemouse and Hunca Munca and Tom Thumb in their lovely dollhouse - I just love the idea of them in a cozy house with tiny beds and foods and I still enjoy that fantasy - despite the fact that I know they can be very destructive and invasive and messy in real life... I’ve heard horrendous stories and cleaned up mouse messes that stayed in my nose for days haha but I still get excited every morning when I go out to the chicken coop, hoping I’ll see one or two tiny cuties for a second before they scurry into the wall.
Whether or not you find real mice nice, a spun cotton mouse really can be rather nice — without any qualifications at all - and YOU can make one for yourself with some very simple supplies and some time and patience.
I’m so excited to (finally) share with you how to make a cotton mouse — this tutorial has been long in the making but I hope it might open up a magical world of creation for you.
if you bought the supply kit and are wondering how to use the different fibers, you can watch this short video
Spun cotton ornaments originated in Germany during the second part of the 19th century so the craft has been around a while, but for many of us it flew beneath our radar until the past few years. I switched from needle felting to spun cotton six or seven years ago when I wanted to stop using all animal products - because it can produce similar looking results to needle felting - although the process is slightly different. (less pricking, more sticking, or at least sticky-ness haha)
The other reason I fell so easily into spun cotton was there was such a minimal investment - the supplies are very basic - in fact many of you will have everything needed on hand already.
Here’s what you need to make a mouse:
cotton balls or other cotton fiber (the tubes are called “punis” and the long fiber is called “sliver,” it looks like roving
wire - I prefer these narrow pipe cleaners and paper covered florist’s wire but you can use all pipe cleaners or all paper covered wire, whatever you have. 24 or 26 gauge wire is my preference
school glue and water - like Elmer’s (the cheap white kind, I think it’s called “PVA” in some places) make your solution 1:4 or 1:3 meaning one part glue to 3 or 4 parts water.
paint and paintbrushes - watercolors, gouache, or acrylic craft paints - I use a combination of acrylic and watercolor and coffee to achieve the look I like
black beads - (optional for eyes) OR the head of a stick pin or a peppercorn would be good substitutes OR you can of course paint eyes! I used these black beads.
scissors
optional: tacky craft glue and finishing spray like Aleene’s
also optional for ears: scrap fabric or crepe paper
I’ve put together a spun cotton starter kit if you’d like to try some of my favorite materials
Let’s get started
Take your pipe cleaner or wire and fold over a portion to form your “head” - this should be about 3/4 to 1 inch long to make a mouse that is about two or 2.5 inches tall.
Then wrap a length of paper covered wire around the pipe cleaner (wrap twice and that will help it not to slip around). Leave the wires longer than you think you’ll need for the arms, because they won’t look so long once the body is plumped out. And you might want your mouse to be able to hold things.. so you don’t want them to be tiny little stumps. or if you want tiny little stumps that’s fine too, it’s your mouse!
Do this for the bottom legs too.
Trim the pipe cleaner off, leaving a quarter or half inch extra to fold over. Add another length of paper covered wire for the tail, twisting around the pipe cleaner at least twice and folding the bottom of the pipe cleaner up over the wire to secure it. That’s your armature.
I am not giving precise measurements because you might want your mouse larger or smaller. The armature will give you a basic idea of the height of your mouse, just take into account a bit of added height once the cotton head and ears are added.
Now is the time to think about the posture for your mouse. Do you want it to look up at you, to the side, straight forward? Think about how you want to “use” your mouse or where you will keep it. I like to have an animal look up if it’s to display or to be engaging. But if you want your mouse to engage with other mice, then it will need to look more straight on.
Take several cotton balls and carefully unwind them, trying to keep the fibers in one long piece. This will make the “spinning” easier. Now take your unwound cotton ball (or cotton roving or “sliver” if you have it) and begin to wrap it around the armature, starting at the base and wrapping several times until you start to have a plump body. Keep wrapping and work your way up around the neck and head. If your piece runs out, simply dab the ends with a bit of your glue mix to tack the ends down and keep going. You don’t need a lot of glue at this point, just a bit will do. If you’re experienced with wrapping, you won’t need any glue at all.
(A reminder that your glue mix should be about 1 part glue to 3 or 4 parts water. You want it more watery than sticky, trust me - this will save you frustration)
Once you have a very primitive shape, you can wrap the legs and tail. This is probably going to be the most difficult part, along with the ears.
FIRST, make sure you trim your legs down to the length you want.
Take a long, thin piece of cotton -(not too thick or your leg will come out lumpy)- try to make the cotton a flat layer so you aren’t winding a thread or strand around, so much as a layer. This will wrap more smoothly. Hold one end against the body of your mouse and wrap tightly. When you get close to the end, put a dab of glue mix or straight glue on the tip of the wire, then finish wrapping the cotton. Tear off or trim the cotton if you have extra and then spin and wrap until the cotton is firm and smooth.
(If you’re using cotton sliver and punis fiber, you can do the tail and legs with either material. I prefer punis for the look and texture but it is not long fiber so it will be a little trickier than using the sliver.)
Now you can put a few dabs of glue mix where the cotton for the leg joins the body. Just to lightly hold it. This will be covered later so you don’t need to worry about it being very secure.
Do the same with the remaining legs.
You can see I make the top legs (or arms) almost twice as long as the bottom legs. This is so my mice can hold things if I want.. but you can do WHATEVER you like!!
The tail is wrapped just the same as the legs - but since it’s longer you will want to try to choose a longer piece of cotton. If you run out of cotton before the end, you can add another piece on, just make sure you add glue to the ends and continue wrapping in the same direction.
** If you don’t like the way your legs and tail turn out, just take off the cotton and try again. If the second attempt doesn’t turn out, give it one more try. Then I would say just take some deep breaths, acknowledge that this is a new skill you’re learning, that there are limitations to our materials and our abilities, and make peace with the leg! :) Wonkiness adds charm. None of us is perfect. And most of us don’t have the legs we want (grimace)
The tail and legs will have a small range of motion if you keep the wrapping thin - but now is the time to shape them into the basic position you want for the final mouse. The tail can move a little once the piece is dry but it will crack a bit where it joins the body if you make significant movements.
Fashioning the ears is also a fiddly job, you might have to practice several times before you get the hang of it. Take a small, thin piece of cotton and fold it in half so that the end is a small circle. Not a loop but an enclosed circle. Now take your brush with glue mix and wet the cotton and gently shape the edges against your finger. You are shaping it into a shell. The ears can look a little over-large at this point.
If you can’t get an ear shaped, you can absolutely use fabric. A plain cotton scrap will work well, simply cut out an ear shape, leaving a small “trunk” and attach with a dab of glue. Then cover the trunk with a bit of cotton to attach it. You can do the same thing with paper or crepe paper.
You can leave the fabric or paper as is or you can cover with cotton.
If you have a spun cotton ear shaped, you can attach it to the back of the head in the same way, brushing the cotton forward toward the nose. Add some cotton over the top to secure it.
Okay time for a little drying break!
At this point you might feel worried that your mouse isn’t shaping up the way you want - or you might be sticky - or need a cup of tea or snack. So set your mouse down and go wash your hands.
You have two options for drying - naturally and speed-drying. I use a toaster oven set to 250 F and bake my mice for about 30 minutes and then check to see if they’re dry. (I dry them standing up on a small plate, if you let them dry on their side you will have more issues with the cotton sticking.)
You can do the same thing in a regular oven set on low or set them in an oven that has been used and turned off. Leave them for 30 minutes and see how much they’ve dried.
Alternatively, you can set your mouse over a heating vent or radiator near a wood stove. Or near a space heater if you run one. If it’s summer time, you could set it outside (just make sure they’re not going to blow away or be carried off by an animal!) This will speed up drying significantly.
If you let your mouse dry naturally, it might take overnight. Or it might take a whole day, or even two… just make sure your mouse seems completely dry to the touch before you move on.
Now you can add your eyes if you’re using beads (or you the round pin heads or peppercorns). Attach them with school or craft glue or with hot glue. They will look crazy googly :)
Begin adding very small, thin pieces of cotton around the eyes and ears and add more to the nose area if you like. Keeping the layers very thin will prevent lumps. Keep going until the face is how you want and the eyes are no longer popping out :)
If you prefer to paint eyes and feel comfortable doing that, wonderful! You will add the painted eyes a little later.
Once you have the head and face finished, you can “flesh out” the body. Add plumpness and definition to the leg joints and give your mouse some haunches.
Take a good look at your little mouse. Make any additions you want.. then decide if you’re going to paint it wet or dry.
If you paint while the cotton is wet, the paint will soak into the fiber more and also bleed more - you will have less control over what the paint does. I prefer painting while the cotton is wet these days, but it may be too unpredictable for you.
If you prefer to paint your mouse after it dries, repeat the drying steps as before. This time may take longer, depending on how thick the wet layers of cotton are.
I start by painting the belly, chin, inner legs and nose and eye areas with an “antique white” acrylic craft paint.
Then I use a mixture of black and brown watercolor to paint the back and top of the head. To blend the brown areas with the white, I just dab with a wet paintbrush.
I also use coffee to tone down and blend white spots that are too bright.
Painting with watercolor doesn’t work for everyone. If the color isn’t dark enough for you it may be because you used more glue and this prevents the pigment from absorbing into the fiber. In that case, gouache or acrylic craft paints will be a better choice.
I also find that the cotton punis fiber paints more evenly and absorbs color in a more natural way. But as you see, I’m using cotton balls and it turns out fine with the watercolor. I suppose the type and quality of watercolor might also come into play.
Painting the ears, nose and cheeks is the most fun part, especially if you’re painting wet. I love to see the pigment draw down into the ear on its own, all I have to do is touch my brush to it :)
I use a mix of reds, pink, and yellow watercolor to achieve a peachy pink but I’ve also used a coral pink acrylic paint with good results.
To paint the nose and mouth area, you’ll want the fibers to be dry or very nearly dry or the black or brown paint will bleed and muddy up the white.
This also applies if you’re painting on eyes rather than using beads, you will want the face to be dry. If you’d like a demonstration of painting eyes, you can find that chapter of the video tutorial here.
Use your finest brush or if you don’t have a fine tip brush, try using a toothpick and acrylic paint. You could also use a fineliner pen. I use a size 0 brush and a mix of brown and black watercolor to paint a little crescent for the nose and a shallow “w” of sorts for the mouth. You can add a few “whisker freckles” if you like.
You can also add a few lines on the paws to denote fingers.
And there she is! Your little mouse. Made by you.
Celebrate what you’ve done and who your mouse is. Appreciate that a few hours or days ago, she was just a pipe cleaner and a pile of cotton balls. You brought her into the world. She may not look like what you had in your imagination, but she is the mouse you needed and that she was meant to be.
I hope this little mouse is only the beginning of a new creative story for you and that you’ll be inspired to keep making and experimenting and growing.
Thanks for being here and happy making!
xo,
Rosanna
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