Rosanna Dell 5/21/17 Rosanna Dell 5/21/17

Have you met Miss Maggie?

It's been a while since I shared a creative project. This is a pattern I came across on Pinterest. "Miss Maggie Rabbit" is the design of Alicia Paulson, of Posie Patterns and Kits to Stitch (aliciapaulson.com), and the pattern is available to purchase as a digital pdf file for $7.00. She's actually something I made for Nettie's Christmas, but I didn't share her because Net basically had no interest in it. (Note to self: Toddlers are NOT the ideal recipients for detailed handmade gifts that took weeks of arguably tedious work to create. "Handmade" and "one-of-a-kind" mean nothing to them.) Granted, Net has plenty of other dollies and stuffed animals to bash around with, so she can probably be forgiven for not warming up to her rabbit doll right away.

Even though she's super cute. I mean, look at these little boots. Of course Nettie won't let poor Miss Maggie Rabbit wear her cute little boots, because as she says, "her feet are NOT cold." And she doesn't call her Miss Maggie. It's just Bunny.

The pattern is very simple to follow, but does take a number of hours to finish, since Miss Maggie is hand-stitched. The pattern suggests using a particular kind of wool blend felt and a particular line of cotton lawn fabric for her dress, but I just used some things I had already. I think she would be cute made of corduroy or velveteen or any other sturdy fabric.

Hand-sewing is relaxing for me, so I thought this was fun. If you like to work on something in the evenings, this might be a nice little project for you. I'd like to make more "softies" in the future, and having a pattern in my hands for the first one was definitely helpful. It was worth the seven bucks to not have to pull my hair and my seams out trying to make something up.

I think the boots are my favorite part. I've been trying to figure out if I can somehow make a pair small enough for some of my felted animals. They remind me so much of The Country Bunny's little gold shoes. (The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes, by DuBose Heyward, illustrations by Marjorie Flack. Don't know that one? You should check it out.)

How about you all? Have you been creating or crafting anything fun lately?

Rosanna Dell 5/11/17 Rosanna Dell 5/11/17

turning a corner

why I can't stop writing mediocre poetry

Since Nettie's been born, I've wanted so badly to write about her and about motherhood and all the little moments that I don't want to forget. But I've had a serious writer's block there. I keep a very straight-forward journal, which is written as daily notes, nothing more. I've tried many times to start a poem or a bit of prose about something that touched me. It just hasn't been accessible. I don't seem to make any headway and what I manage to write, I hate.

All of a sudden, though, I find myself starting poems in my head in response to something funny she said or some bizarre situation we find ourselves in. Then when naptime comes, I run to the computer to try to get it down. They aren't my best work, but they are something. They hold a bit of her, they make a memory.

So much of the first two years was just really physically and emotionally hard for me. Nursing was so precious, but so exhausting, and honestly, it was always a source of stress for me. I worried about my supply and my diet all the time. And having a little person who is completely physically dependent on you is wonderful and I never want to forget all the snuggles, but it is taxing, especially for an introvert like me who needs alone time, time to unplug from people.

I ran out of milk about a month ago, right at her birthday time, and though she still asks to "see if Momma has milk" a few times a day, (and we do), we are both doing fine with the fact that I don't. That has brought some separation and some relief for me, and I wonder if it's this separation that has allowed me to start writing about her. Most of what I have felt these first two years has been so intense and overwhelming, and so mixed with angst and fear, that articulating it was too much. I have a dear friend who wrote a beautiful poem about walking at night with her infant son, at least twenty years after the fact. It is so intimate and captures the moment and the feelings so well. I thought of it many times when I was up nursing Nettie in the night.

Maybe in five or ten or even twenty years I'll be able to come back to my daily journal of these first two years and make something more beautiful of it. I don't know. For now, I'm just happy to be capturing any little part of my sweet, kooky girl.